Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Reasons I Don't Have a Roommate

1, 250. The number of minutes my booty was seated on my sattle this month. One month. It's exciting to think about, as I am filling out the workout schedule for the upcoming month, that even though I will be doing 140 miles in the Ironman, I've already started putting in my "Miles to IMOO". For the most part I can't complain, month one went along swimmingly....or maybe I should have made a bike reference, since the focus was a 'bike block'. But this isn't really going to be focused on my workouts, I've done a lot of that in my other posts. Rather I felt the need to take a step back and kind of ramble about a thought that crossed my mind the other day. While scrambling around my apartment trying to cram all of my work stuff into my backpack, pack my gym bag (why can I never find one of my gym shoes?!), half dressed for work (please don't forget to put a shirt on before you walk out!) do my hair, and drink my coffee while it's still warm (yea right!) I just rolled with the resistance that this was going to have a "case of the Mondays" on a Tuesday.

By now I know better than to pack things the morning of, yet it still happens. By the time I'm grabbing my keys and locking my door I take a quick glance around, did I turn off my hair straightener and coffee pot? And oh dear gawd, my place looks like a tornado went through it! I guess I'll have to clean that up later....maybe....when am I going to do that? In the car ride to work I tried to think up my 'to-do' list for the day and I couldn't help but chuckle to myself. My mind was still on my apartment and how much of a mess it was. In the one month of triathlon training I realized that there is a reason I don't have a roommate. Actually there are many reasons:

1) My life expectancy would drop instantaneously because of the wild schedule that I follow. Getting up at 4am and going to bed by 9pm is not something someone could live with harmoniously. There would probably be a lot of passive-aggressive noise making to signify how annoyed the other one is with you for being awake/asleep.

2) Laundry. I have to do more loads of laundry a week than anyone I know. And it's almost always all workout clothes. But before the clothes make it to the washer they sit everywhere; on the floor, in the sing, handing over the tub, and if they aren't stinky and wet, there's a 5% chance they will actually make it into a dirty laundry basket.

3) My fortress of solitude would not be so solitary. I'd have to realize that I was sharing my apartment with someone and that yelling out Lady Gaga lyrics at the top of my lungs is not really being considerate of the other person. And the loud clanky noise the trainer makes is enough to drive anyone up a wall. But the reality is that I would still go ahead and do all of this anyways because I need to get the workout in. I'd probably find myself with many of unexpected flat tires from spite.

4) Seasons change, but there is no "off" season. Through the snow, sleet, rain, and sun I'm outside. That being said when I come inside all of that season comes with me. Mudd, water, and sand, makes itself at home on my floor. It's not like I don't clean it up, buuut lets be honest it's definitely on my own time....or the next time I have to do a workout on the floor :P

5) And if someone were able to see past all of this and decide I wasn't totally bat-shit crazy, my diet would probably get them. I go through more almond milk, peanut butter, and edamame than any one person really every should. But that's not the worst of it. I'm also a fan of protein shakes, they are delicious and help with recovery but washing them out right away? Ain't nobody got time for that! Dishes aren't usually a priority so the obsessive-compulsive cleaning freak would have a field day with me.

If you walked into my apartment, which is tiny too by the way, you would find my bike locked into the trainer, but it's blocking the door to my closet so getting anything out of there means you have to suck it in. There's another bike propped up against the end of my bed collecting dust. And baskets of laundry surrounding it. I never actually manage to put away all of my clothes. They kind of just sit in a basket or on my bed when I'm not sleeping in it (so the clothes are less wrinkly...yea right). Come on, even if I put them away they'd still end up out anyways, why waste time? And my bathroom is filled with wet bathing suits, caps, goggles and probably yesterdays workout clothes in the shower, drying out before I throw them in a basket so they don't mold....Ew. There are protein stains on my wall, because lets be honest, I've had my moments where I have forgotten to tighten the top and well, the walls are now an off shade of white-ish-brown.

So to put an end to a long winded story, I have embraced the triathlete lifestyle. And while I'm not sure if it is compatible or possible to live in harmony with the non-triathlete species I'm pretty sure a lot of this is more me just being a messy human being and putting a title to it. But fresh mud prints make it all the more homey :)

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